Hurt and Goodbyes.

I just ended things with a man I was seeing for 2 years. Shit was hard. We never officially was a couple but it was a relationship nonetheless. I cared for him. I loved him. I still do…that won’t change. I want something he can’t give me. A commitment. Monogamy. This is new territory for me. I’ve been divorced for 4 years and we separated 2 years prior. I haven’t been in a relationship since….until this. We’ve met and talked on and off social media for 6 years. But the last 2 we’ve been meeting to see each other, investing time and energy into one other. I didn’t expect it to get to this point. I wasn’t looking for a relationship with him because I already knew it wasn’t an option, plus I wasn’t ready. This shit hurts. I know I want something more. Something much much better. And I’m hopeful I will find it.